joke

[Sir Frosty]

Revenge on Telemarketers

Speakers on
- and it takes a little while on dial up

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

_________________
....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

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[Scouse]

Brilliant !!
I'll have to give that a try sometime......

[Paul M]

Onions and Christmas Trees
>
>A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, " Dad, how
>many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "
>Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's
>breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties,
>they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions. "
>
>" Onions? "
>
>" Yes, you see them and they make you cry. "
>
>This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, " Mum, how
>many kinds of 'willies' are there? " The mother, surprised, smiles and
>answers, " Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties,
>his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and
>forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is
>like a Christmas tree. "
>
>" A Christmas tree? "
>
> " Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
>

[Skidmond]

good for a laugh

TESTICULATING.
>
> Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
>
>
>
> BLAMESTORMING.
>
> Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
>project failed, and who was responsible.
>
>
>
> SEAGULL MANAGER.
>
> A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything,
>and then leaves.
>
>
>
> ASSMOSIS.
>
> The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement
>by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
>
>
>
> SALMON DAY.
>
> The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
>get screwed and die.
>
>
>
> CUBE FARM.
>
> An office filled with cubicles.
>
>
>
> PRAIRIE DOGGING.
>
> When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
>people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also
>applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
>
>
>
> SITCOMs.
>
> Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
>into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
>with the kids or start a "home business".
>
>
>
> SINBAD.
>
> Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
>
>
>
> STRESS PUPPY.
>
> A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
>
>
>
> PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
>
> The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get
>it to work again.
>
>
>
> ADMINISPHERE.
>
> The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
>file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
>inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
>This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless
>paperwork and processes.
>
>
>
> 404.
>
> Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
>Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
>
>
>
> OHNOSECOND.
>
> That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
>just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
>
>
>
> GOING FOR A McSHIT.
>
> Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
>you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
>declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a
>McShit with Lies.
>
>
>
> AEROPLANE BLONDE.
>
> One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
>
>
>
> AUSSIE KISS.
>
> Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
>
>
>
> BEER COAT.
>
> The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
>cruise at 3am.
>
>
>
> BEER COMPASS.
>
> The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
>cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you
>got here, and where you've come from.
>
>
>
> BREAKING THE SEAL.
>
> Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
>breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
>required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
>
>
>
> GREYHOUND.
>
> A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
>
>
>
> JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
>
> A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
>works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
>displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
>their level of training.
>
>
>
> MILLENNIUM DOMES.
>
> The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed
>from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
>
>
>
> MONKEY BATH.
>
> A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo!
>Aa!Aa!Aa!".
>
>
>
> MYSTERY BUS.
>
> The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
>toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
>the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
>
>
>
> MYSTERY TAXI.
>
> The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you
>wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
>your bed instead.
>
>
>
> PICASSO BUM.
>
> A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like
>she's got four buttocks.
>
>
>
> SALAD DODGER.
>
> An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
>
>
>
> SWAMP-DONKEY
>
> A deeply unattractive person.
>
>
>
> TART FUEL.
>
> Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

_________________
reality...it's over rated

[Sir Frosty]

Engineers Patrick and Seamus were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Patrick, "but we
don't have a ladder."

The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.

Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement
and announced, "5 metres" and then walked away.

Seamus shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

_________________
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[tonynoosa]

Last week I had to go down to Melbourne and flying in you could not miss the great big brownness.
later on while travelling on a tram I found out why they needed the drought

been so wet last few years the place was starting to sink

_________________
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy it and your just jealous cause the voice's only talk to ME.

[tonynoosa]

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training Instead Of:
You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter. Instead Of:
She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch
3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late Instead Of:
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible Instead Of:
F*** off a*se-wipe
5. Try Saying: Really? Instead Of:
Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole
6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with... Instead Of:
Tell someone who gives a f***.
7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project. Instead Of:
Not my f***ing problem, mate.
8. Try Saying: That's interesting. Instead Of:
What the f***?
9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the
given timescale. Instead Of:
No f***ing chance mate.
10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in Instead
Of:
Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues Instead Of:
He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
12. 12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir? Instead Of:
Oi, f*** face.
13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway Instead Of:
Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.

_________________
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy it and your just jealous cause the voice's only talk to ME.

[grant69]

Two guys are sitting in a boat enjoying the fishing and peaceful sunset
while sipping on a stubbie when suddenly Dick says, "I think I'm going
to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Bill takes a sip out of his stubby and says, "You better think it over
mate - women like that are hard to find."

_________________
59 Ute Coronation Blue

under construction
58 2door soon to be chopped - 4AGE, 5 speed, 4 wheel discs, a/c, pwr steer

[tonynoosa]

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=71c92dbc72961141107485aefb55d000.1775203&fr=yvmtf

_________________
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy it and your just jealous cause the voice's only talk to ME.

[Sir Frosty]

THE HORTH WHITHPERER

A bloke rings his mate, the horse breeder, and says he's sending
a friend over to look at a horse.
His mate asks, "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking
for a male or female horse.
. "A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the
once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"?
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the
horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The breeder is getting
pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and
shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
Totally mad as hell at this point, he grabs him under his arms and
rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse’s nether region,
pulls him out and throws him onto the ground.
The midget gets up, coughing and sputtering …..

"Perhapth … I should wephrase that……

Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?

_________________
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[Sir Frosty]

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent. (Love this one!)
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
14. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
15. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

_________________
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[Tom]

From the WA 4x4 forum.

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people
in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my
older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
I think it's Colin.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't
reach the meat off the top shelf
He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong
currant.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted," Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied," I know you can't, I've cut off your arms ".

I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"

Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

_________________
Bacteria.... it's the only culture some folks will ever have...

[Paul M]

Two aliens landed in the desert close to Birdsville near an old petrol station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the old petrol pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The old petrol pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt crumpled mess about 200 metres away in a dry creek bed.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, He refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young fried Alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a bloke who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear."

[Sir Frosty]

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war
party.

The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger.
In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three
days.
But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests.

What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger,
who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's
Tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You
have very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days.

What is your second request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is
brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the
horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver
again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive
than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a
man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow.
"What is your last request?"

The Lone Ranger responds," I'd like to speak to my
horse....ALONE."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to
the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
looks him square in the eye and says,


"Listen very carefully, you dickhead, for the last time.......... . BRING POSSE!!!!

_________________
....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

BE Australian, ... BUY Australian.

[Sir Frosty]

Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the Mr. Rudd if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm,
is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a "tragedy"

No," said Rudd "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained Mr Rudd, "that's what we would call
great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Rudd searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...

In a quiet voice he said: "If a plane carrying you and Mrs Rudd was
struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Rudd. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and
it probably wouldn't be a bloody accident either!"

_________________
....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

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[Trev aus]

Apple computers announced today the development of a computer chip that can be implanted into a woman's breast and play music.

The I-tit will cost $399 and is regarded as a major breakthrough as women are always moaning that men just stare at their tits and never listen to them.


I want 2 for stereo
Trev
Aus

_________________
MORRIS MINOR
HELPING PUT OIL BACK IN THE GROUND FOR 60 YEARS
CARS DON'T GET ANY "GREENER" THAN THAT!

[Sir Frosty]

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile,

'For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365,

'Shall We Gather at the River.'

_________________
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[Sir Frosty]

_________________
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[tonynoosa]

Another one for them in Brisbane


After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided
that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger
bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he
and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a
vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was
expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home,
get a large fire-cracker, light it, put it in a beer
can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, 'B'Jayzus, I may not
be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how
putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is
going to help me with my problem.'

'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor. So
the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer
can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

'1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, and placed
the beer can between his legs so he could continue
counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in New Zealand, Tasmania and
several suburbs in Brisbane.

_________________
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy it and your just jealous cause the voice's only talk to ME.

[Sir Frosty]

THE OLD MOTOR

The marriage of an 80-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman was the talk of the town.

After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" The old man grinned and said, "You got to keep the old motor running."

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, "Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?" The old man grinned and said, "You gotta keep the old motor running."

A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child. The same nurse was there for this birth also and after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, "Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?" The old man replied, "It's like I've told you before, you got to keep the old motor running."

The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: "Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one's black"

_________________
....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

BE Australian, ... BUY Australian.

[Sir Frosty]

CHINESE SICK LEAVE : 'I NO COME WOK TODAY!!!'

Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok

today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs

hurt, I no come wok.'

The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really

need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my

wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything

better and I go to work. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say

and I feel Great. I be at wok soon.........You got nice house.'

_________________
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[Sir Frosty]

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
'Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients'.
'Yes, sir!' answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:
'So,Murphy, how was your day?'
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.
'The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.'
'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir'
says Murphy.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?'
Asks the doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman borsts in so she does. Like bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!''
'Tunderin' lard Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes'

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....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

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[Sir Frosty]

............. There will be NO Easter eggs this year

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....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

BE Australian, ... BUY Australian.

[Sir Frosty]

Revenge...


A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him.

He came up to the doorstep of 'a house of ill repute' and knocked on the door.

When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, 'I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.

Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.

He asked, 'Do any of the girls have any diseases?'

Of course the Madam said 'No'.

The boy said, 'I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber - THAT'S the girl I want.'

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?'

He said, 'Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.

After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys.

She will then get the disease that I just caught.

When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home.

On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE'S the prick who ran over my FROG!'

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....the honorable royal poobah sir frosty ...Get your Forum Stickers NOW

BE Australian, ... BUY Australian.

[grant69]

Definitely a Dog Lovers story………..

teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says.



A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl.

'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'F**k Off!,' the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room.

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59 Ute Coronation Blue

under construction
58 2door soon to be chopped - 4AGE, 5 speed, 4 wheel discs, a/c, pwr steer